LeVar Motherfucking Burton

The following post, as you would probably guess, is rated R for language. If you are a dainty 80 year old woman, I suggest going somewhere else, as this includes language that will make your ears bleed. Which doesn’t even make sense, since it’s written and not spoken.

OK, so as you may know, I recently moved to New York. Yeah New York! I meant to post sooner, but my various adventures have kept me away from my blog.

My adventure began in East Williamsburg, where I stayed at a hostel while looking for a sublease. I had Craigslisted a few places, and I was to start visiting apartments the very day I arrived in Brooklyn. The places I visited ranged from awesome to disappointing to DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE WHY DON’T YOU TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONER I’M ALL FOR SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT BUT I’M ALSO ALL FOR NOT SUFFOCATING WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN. Suffice it to say, you meet a lot of interesting people when you go apartment-hunting. Anyway, the one place I rated “awesome” I wasn’t able to get. But I did get a temp sublet in Greenpoint, leasing a room from a girl from New Zealand and living with a nice couple who also just moved here. The temp sublease runs out September 1, and after that, all bets are off. Who knows where I’ll end up? My search has taken me through Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Bushwick, Crown Heights, Park Slope and others. So far I liked Park Slope the best.

But then there’s the reason I’m here all along! My internship started officially on Wednesday. My first assignment was transcribing interviews (my boss promises me that there will be more interesting assignments in the future), but it wasn’t too bad. The interviews were about this music project going on, and I got to learn about some cool bands.

But here’s the best one: Reading Rainbow. And rather than hotlink their Myspace, I’ll spell it out for you: http://www.myspace.com/levarmotherfuckingburton

Fuck yes. That’s the most awesome Myspace domain that I’ve ever seen. This puts the PBS guy on the same level as other greats who have made “Motherfucking” their middle name:

Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson:

Gary Motherfucking Oak:

Fuck yeah, indeed. I think I’m going to like this internship.

Other than adventures in apartment hunting, I’ve done some exploring, and gone out a couple of times with the new roommates.

I’ll close with a few lessons I’ve learned in the past few days:

1. When most people think of Williamsburg, they’re thinking of Bedford Avenue. But as I learned when I visited an apartment in south Williamsburg, it was pretty much the opposite of Bedford Avenue. The less said about it the better.

2. If somebody lists an “artists’ loft” on Craigslist, it may sound cool, but it just means you’d be living in basically a wooden box with no windows in a 100+ degree art studio with really weird people. Just throwing that out there.

3. Nobody takes debit cards in Brooklyn, so you have to carry cash. There are also no Wells Fargo ATMs anywhere. Fuck ATM fees.

4. Polish is a good language to learn if you’re going to live in Greenpoint.

5. East Williamsburg is a relatively new neighborhood in Brooklyn, carved out of the area between Williamsburg and Bushwick. I like to describe it as a “hipster industrial complex” because it looks like a bunch of old warehouses and industrial buildings, but behind the scenes it’s a bunch of artists involved in everything from film and TV production to painting. And all the warehouses are actually converted into lofts.

6. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was awesome. This has nothing to do with moving to New York, but I saw it before I left and I just wanted to mention that.

I promise I’ll try to start taking some pictures for my next post.  Enjoy the BAMFs I “borrowed” from the Internet.

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